Thus I Willed it in, When Nietzsche Wept

''I shall always remain alone, but what a difference, what a wonderful difference, to choose what I do. Amor fati- choose your fate, love your fate.''

Following one's mission. Trusting one's inner voices.

When Nietzsche Wept is a historical fiction novel set in 19th century Austria written by Irvin D. Yalom, a psychotherapist and a writer. The main story unfolds when Dr. Breuer an eminent physiologist of the time, becomes bestowed with a secret mission: to save Frederic Nietzsche from his physical and psychological maladies. What is amazing in this book though, is that half way through, the doctor becomes the patient and the scheme of power is reversed, giving Nietzsche the role of the doctor. This is a genius plot design, for, Dr. Yalom has managed to create two whole and raw characters that though different, both illuminate the consciousness of the human. However, he explores the human psyche in such a delicate and almost unnoticed way, that silently his words rise up from the paper to shake the reader's own mind. Thus, the reader becomes an observant of the wonderful discussions implored by the two men, but at the same time he/ she unconsciously becomes an active participant of their conversations. Having said this, this book is both amusing and inquiring, as it delves upon the meaning of being an individual.

There are many wonderful passages in this book which speak to the heart and I am citing some here to reflect on them.

I have a why for living and can put up with any how. I have a ten- year point of living, a mission. (F)

I believe that physical well- being is not separate from social and psychological well-being. (B)

It is not the truth that is holy, but the search for one's own truth! Can there be a more sacred act than self inquiry? (F)

One must remove oneself from one's customary point of view, even from one's own century and country- and then examine oneself from a distance! (F)

To analyze one's own psyche! (F)

The pain of living not shared.

I believe in the healing value of talking. (B)

You know, Sig, maybe that should be the goal of treatment- to liberate that hidden consciousness, to allow him to ask for help in the daylight. (B)

One must find the strength to help oneself. (F)

Your task is to accept yourself- not to find ways to gain my acceptance. (F)

I need to be able to reveal everything about myself to another and to learn that I, too, am.... simply human. (B)

Nothing must interfere with the development of the hero inside of you. (F)

Thus I chose it! The spirit of a man is constructed out of his choices! (F)

I have realized that the philosophic cure consists of learning to listen to your own inner voice. (F)

Not to take possession of your life plan is to let your existence be an accident. (F)

Swallowed resentment makes one sick!(B)

Perhaps symptoms are messengers of a meaning and will vanish only when their message is comprehended. (F)

The individual's goal, to honor one's psyche.

Josef only this instant is real. In the end, we experience ourselves only in the present moment. (F)

Yes, eternal recurrence means that every time you choose an action you must be willing to choose it all eternity. And it is the same for every action not made, every stillborn thought, every choice avoided. And all unlived life will remain bulging inside of you, unlived through all eternity. And the unheeded voice of your conscience will cry out to you forever. (F)

This moment exists forever, and you, alone, are your only audience. (F)

No,not sadness! On the contrary, when I talked you a few minutes ago about dying alone, I felt a powerful surge of relief. Not so much what I said, but that I said it, that I finally shared what I felt.(F)

Don't underestimate what you have given me ,Josef. Don't underestimate the value of friendship, of my knowing I'm not a freak, of my knowing I'm capable of touching and being touched. Before, I only half embraced my concept Amor fati: I have trained myself- resigned myself is a better term- to love my fate. But now, thanks to you, thanks to your open hearth, I realize I have a choice. I shall always remain alone, but what a difference, what a wonderful difference, to choose what I do. Amor fati- choose your fate, love your fate. (F)

Stripping oneself to another

allows true human connections to grow.

The novel itself deals with various topics like, the importance of talking for releasing one's loneliness and pain. Another theme is, the mission each individual has for knowing oneself and thus, choosing one's life with intention. Finally, the book touches upon the sweet subject of friendship as it builds upon the friendship of Dr. Breuer and Nietzsche. As it seems, the core stone of friendship is honesty; admitting oneself to another, the rawness of being human. This is a book for everyone, especially if one is pondering upon the meaning of being human.

*Illustrations by the Swedish artist John Bauer.

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